Great Expectations

People often come to a new group with great expectations. Because of the way we are as leaders, we often have even higher expectations for the group. I found the following comments helpful in providing perspective as a group comes together for the first time.

A small group is a wonderful place for life-change and, outside of a family, perhaps the most optimal setting for personal transformation. But groups are imperfect, as are the people in them. This reality, if not recognized, can set a person up for deep disappointment because we often hope our small group will be the place where we finally find this wonderful thing called community, yet our experience can fall short. It is important not to put too much pressure on anyone group- or on the members of your group (including the leader)-to meet every need relationally or spiritually.

Each group you are a part of will contribute to your growth. Over the years, you'll build many good memories. But every person in your group is not going to become a friend for life. That doesn't mean you can't love each other and meaningfully contribute to each other while you are together, but it does mean it's important to accept the limitations of each group, and recognize there is an ebb and flow to relationships….

As you look to your expectations for this group, go ahead an plan for great things, but realize that it's community over lifetime that helps make us like Jesus. Be ready at times give more than you receive. And don't place on any one person or group the expectation for community that is possible only from years of group life.

from Groups: The Life-giving Power of Community, pages 28-29